"When I stumbled upon your book on Amazon, it felt like I had found a missing piece to a puzzle. This approach affirms my hunches and instincts about where to go with families and provides a framework for doing so. My colleagues have expressed similar feedback. We sincerely appreciate your work. It has helped to confirm, consolidate, and inspire our team."
IAFT Participant

“Dafna Lender’s framework, Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (IAFT), uses the power of neuroplasticity to provide parents and children with new experiences of safety and connection that shift trauma-informed relationships. It offers a powerful mental health intervention that can help families to heal. If parents and therapists follow Dafna’s guidance, they can make significant progress in reducing attachment trauma in future generations.”
Bessel van der Kolk, MD

“Dafna Lender’s framework, Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (IAFT), uses the power of neuroplasticity to provide parents and children with new experiences of safety and connection that shift trauma-informed relationships. It offers a powerful mental health intervention that can help families to heal. If parents and therapists follow Dafna’s guidance, they can make significant progress in reducing attachment trauma in future generations.”-Bessel van der Kolk, MD
Bessel van der Kolk, MD

I love that you create safe, separate containers for both children and their caregivers. You teach straight-up caregiving survival skills- using real talk and real life examples that show how things can improve in even the most extreme situations. These are precious tools to use in times of escalation that are like magic.You rock.
Beta Group Member

“My relief is that Dafna is willing to travel the off track & backroads of parenting with us. All the potholes, bad turns & lost moments...I am relieved to find Dafna, an off road parenting expert, familiar and not horrified with the road less travelled and willing to support our experiences.”
Beta Group Member

Dafna has a wonderful way of explaining things that I have heard before but never fully grasped or have a renewed way of thinking about it.. like that 'Aha' moment.”
Beta Group Member

“I feel like every parenting book, podcast, etc talks about the important of consistency BUT it was so refreshing and ACCURATE for someone to say external factors change, so you might need to change. It was an “ah ha” moment for me.”
Beta Group Member

“Dafna’s delivery has been so refreshing. She has a way to make taboo subjects seem not so. And, unlike other parenting trainings I’ve done, I don’t leave the class with a huge sense of guilt for what I’m not doing right."
Beta Group Member

I have often been discouraged by parenting courses and family therapy before, because it also feels like it all falls to the parent (specifically the mom) to “fix” it or make changes to see improvements. While Dafna recognized you can only change yourself and not your child, it didn’t feel discouraging at all. She recognized how challenging it is, and I appreciate that.
Beta Group Member

I appreciate [Dafna's] non-judgmental, affirming nature.
Beta Group Member

I really appreciate Dafna's direct, no nonsense approach to putting children's needs first while also being empathetic to parents. It's a tricky line to balance and she does it skillfully.
Beta Group Member

This book should be required reading for anyone who works with children. As experienced therapists know, no one clinical model is comprehensive enough to work for everyone. However, Dafna Lender’s integrative attachment family therapy comes darn close. I am hard pressed to think of parents and children who would not be helped by her elegant approach. Through her gift of storytelling, complex ideas come alive in ways that are both poetic and practical. I can’t recommend this illuminating book highly enough!
Karen Doyle Buckwalter, LCSW, RPT-S
Author & Podcaster

Integrative Attachment Family Therapy is a child-focused, multidimensional framework on the vanguard of treatments that heal and strengthen attachment issues in the parent-child relationship. With clear, accessible language and illustrative case examples, Dafna Lender shows how activities based on somatic practices can intervene in problem behaviors in children and in parents. The result is a comprehensive book that will benefit all mental health care professionals who strive to alleviate children’s pain and reconstruct family functioning.
Peter A. Levine, PhD
Best-selling author of Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma and Trauma Through a Child’s Eyes: Awakening the Ordinary Miracle of Healing

Dafna Lender presents an integrated therapeutic approach, IAFT, as an accessible, intuitive, optimistic, and compassionate strategy to strengthen the parent-child relationship. The product of this integration is a transformative therapeutic strategy that leverages the importance of both child and parent feeling safe enough to trust each other. Through clinical examples, we observe how this new felt sense of safety enables both the parent and child to become more accurate and respectful witnesses, a process that evolves into the parent-child co-regulation becoming more symmetrical and imbued with the resilience necessary to process potentially disruptive challenges that may confront either the child or the parent.
Stephen Porges, PhD
Author of The Polyvagal Theory and Clinical Applications of the Polyvagal Theory

Dafna Lender’s framework, integrative attachment family therapy (IAFT), uses the power of neuroplasticity to provide parents and children with new experiences of safety and connection that shift trauma-informed relationships. It offers a powerful mental health intervention that can help families to heal. If parents and therapists follow Dafna’s guidance, they can make significant progress in reducing attachment trauma in future generations.
Bessel van der Kolk, MD.
#1 New York Times best-selling author of The Body Keeps the Score

Dafna is a godsend, I have been to therapy to heal my own trauma to be a better parent and wasted no end of money. What I have learnt with Dafna through TRF is helping me to be the parent I have always wanted to be to my two adopted children who also have their trauma.The way Dafna talks is as though it is to me directly, her experience is visible in the examples she provides which is very relatable, whether talking about the children or how I experience my children as a parent.That saying of heal yourself first before healing your child is so true, I can now stop and think what may be coming up for me and my children through those difficult moments. Thank you TRF for introducing Dafna to my world.
Katie T.

I loved the real life examples of how to implement what Dafna taught. I've learned to be less monotone with my voice, and that part of my child's behavior is normal for their age. I also like that she talked about regulating ourselves as parents before we react to our kids.
Kristen M.

Dafna does an excellent job of explaining the approach she uses with high-needs children and teens. She gives very specific examples which are helpful to get a sense of how to use these strategies in real life. I loved when she demonstrated techniques with participants as the child or client. I like that Dafna says the hard things to parents--as in you need to work on yourself so you can show up better for your child.
Brooke F.

I liked the real life examples, and Dafna's expertise is amazing. I particularly like that she looks beyond the behavior to what is driving the behavior. And the ideas about body placement, eye-contact, touch or no touch in regards to connection and de-escalation are priceless.
Michele T.

I liked Dafna's straightforwardness. She obviously knows the common problems parents are facing and is able to talk directly about the solutions. I like how her approach is compassionate, and she opened up my mind about how a child's nervous system could be affecting their behavior.
Stephanie W.